We’re almost at end of April 2009. Didn’t time fly that fast rite now, did they? And till to date I’d attended like 4 weddings alr. (not incl. weddings that I had to forgo due to my appointment and weddings that I purposely skipped) first at melaka (mawar’s fren) 2nd was kimi’s (he is the cyber fren back at utp) 3rd was adam’s (a mualaf who used to be my primary classmate) and finally the recently held was yuni’s (my housemate back at utp). I didn’t want to comment on their wedding ceremony as for me all was done at their best and within their own budget. But it was what's next that made me think.
Recently me and my mom was watching a tvb drama where there is this scene showing the wife finally found out about the husband extra marital affair after they had been together for more than 25 years. The wife demanded divorce while the children and even the niece (charmaine sheh) asked her to reconsider the decision. As usual, as the audience me n my mom started to act as the series was directed by us. I was on the wife side, though I’m still single, I knew that it was so devastating to find out that the husband has another one. I kept saying ‘ Cerai jelah, melampau laki tu’ then my mum blurted out sumthing that starting quite a heated conversation (act I feel trapped with this kind of conversation; as if I opt to say nothing I’m sure mom will not satisfied, but if I continue, I might end up saying sumthing that could hurt her feeling..but I was glad that the conversation ended up well though agak tergantung)
Mum: nape mak tgk org2 skang senang2 je cakap pasal cerai. Macam perkahwinan tu tadek maksud pape. Kalau org dulu, tanak langsung cakap pasal cerai, biarlah sampai mati,
Me: orang dulu lain, org skang lain. Pompuan dulu, hidup bergantung pada lelaki. Kalo keja pun, diorg still sgt dependent kat laki, so kalo cerai, susahla idup.
Mum: tp zaman2 mak, ramai je pompuan dah keja gaji byk.
Me: mmglah zaman mak tu dah start pompuan keja. Tp still ade lagi rase kalo cerai tu susahkan diri n paling penting takut org sekeliling duk berkata2. mak tau2 jelaa waktu tu kalo org dah start cakap2 payahlaa nak idup.
Mum: abistu perkahwinan tu tadek mane laa skang?Me: mane ade tadek makne. Maybe ade org anggap kawin tu semate2 nak halalkan ape yg haram je. Tp kalo nad, kawin tu kalo boleh nak kongsi idup nie sebaik mungkin sampai mati. Tp mak tgklaa zaman skang, bape byk sgt laki boleh harap. Kalo zaman mak tu, boleh lagilaa kalo kite tgk luar laki tu baik, percentage dalaman die pun baik tu tinggi. Tp skang nie laki mcm2 perangai; ade yg kaki kikis, ade yg baran, ade yg gay. Dahlah tu kekadang pas kawin je br nmpk perangai sebenar. Dr dok tahan bertahun2, asik tambah anak baik cerai awal dr ade anak byk2 tp tak dpt nak tanggung(atau bayar nafkah) dan last2 anak yg jd mangsa.
Mum: (senyap je, tp tadek tande tak puas hati atau terase.)
The conversation ended there.
Being married in this millennium is a big challenge. With all the no boundaries technologies that had evolved, they did make the whole thing much harder. I respected those managed to survive each other till to date, I dared those that trying to survive herself from the other to start to take some action now and I wished all the best to those who still trying to survive each other till to date.
P/s: I’m not anti marriage as I am a Muslim. I viewed marriage as a sacred relationship that requires trust, toleration, faith, sweats, love and money in order to remain it as it is. In fact, I’m seriously looking for the not so mr-right for me now. I know the search is not that easy, might hurt me a bit here n there. But I will persevere in order to fulfill this obligation.
P/s 2: sometimes it makes me wonder, why I can easily win contests that I entered, or get all the things that I want but when it comes to this love thingy it seems that all my lucky streaks had been sucked up. It is either the guy is alr with sumone else or he’s a gay or he’s just not that into me? Well, this will always keeps me wonder. . .