Monday, June 27, 2011

Closure ..another fiction

i don't think this is love. i think that this is just another short crush that i'm having. it wont last that long. it would last maybe for 1-2 mths. maybe. lets hope so.

this is so not me. having a crush with one of the colleague. it so not professional of me.and it so absurd for me to have a crush with sumone who is few years younger than me.

but despite of that, the feelings started to grow, , without me noticing the rapidness and the intensity. suddenly, i started to see him everywhere i go, i smile every time i thinking of him. such a good feelings. yes, i let all of this happened without realizing the consequences.

well, this happiness had been short lived. bad things happened when we least expecting it. starting from a misunderstanding than we pour in some emotions and later more emotions came in and suddenly it became too much to handle for both of us. we stopped talking to each other. we stopped exchanging glance and smile. instead we end up with emotional smses. and i end up crying. i cried in the bedroom, i cried in the ladies, yeah..tears and tissues all the way. 

this had made me thinking. if this is just a crush. why it hurts soo much? why cant i stopped crying whenever i saw him?

i kept thinking and analyzing, and i still cant find any illogical possible reason.what i got is brain drain. i was tired , too tired and decided to give up.

so last night, i cried for the last time. i made a promise to myself. i convinced myself that he's just another crush. and finally i just let go . . it is the hardest part, but i felt so much relieved. indeed the best closure for this short lived love story of mine . 

-end-

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